In our age of constant self-presentation, it felt lonely and awkward at first. In our age of speed it felt like lagging behind. In our age of distraction, I am forced to deal with myself and to hang in there. So, as you might have guessed, stillness is my new shit. Daddy’s Lens has taught me more about stillness than I expected. At first, my analogue camera was all about connecting with Papa. The more I let myself fall into this natural and pure way of photography and the more I allow myself this celebration of my artistic imperfection, the more I feel a holistic magic spell that comes with it.
Taking time with an analogue vintage camera is my way of cutting through the noise and the many layers of human bustle. It makes me recall what lies deeper than any movement or self. Too often I felt the sensation of running too fast and yet never being able to catch up.I always knew I needed a regular meditation practice to stay physically and mentally sane. “Discipline equals freedom”, they say. I love freedom, I fear discipline. So there’s that. Daddy’s Lens helped me to domesticate my monkey mind and somewhere down the road I finally manage to integrate these holy moments of sitting still. Returning into my inner void does feel like the biggest luxury of all. The hedonism of indulging into a moment without distractions. Yumm!Many of you know how much I enjoy indulging in hedonistic pleasures, late nights, loud music, intensity by any means accompanied by dark red wine and gorgonzola forever (compared to the drugs in my twenties, these are rather sophisticated objects of desire. Mamma Mia! What happened to the revolution? But that is another story…). Got sidetracked for a moment (writing about discipline and focus, right on!). Anyway, I did the most crazy trips around the globe with my worn-out backpack, had a constant work-hard-play-hard lifestyle that was fun most of the time, yet felt empty and shallow in between. Hell, I was chasing those daily excitements, looking for the highs that made me feel alive, being out there, wanting it all at once and right away. We all know where this is going. Running around in search for contentment is the best way to ensure that we will never be calm and content (Instagram being the perfect companion for this). However, it took a while. After I hit forty, I slowed down. I said good-bye to Instagram and Facebook on my mobile phone, I insist on my regular offline times and my freedom from information (whereas years back access to information involved a new feeling of freedom), I spend more time alone and yet feel more connected with my friends. I feel richer and fuller than before – indulging into stillness.It’s 16th of January. Papa’s Birthday. This is to you! You always pointed out the wisdom of sitting still and just listening and observing, on water, on land, and at the table with the people around us. Sail on!